Dreamy Times

Oh well. The black hole of despair has come and sucked away the sunshine. It was only a matter of time. Least I don’t have to tidy the rest of the house, or do that pile of ironing. Or do me legs, run up huge phone bills, travel endlessly up and down the country. Or tear myself apart knowing I was just a security blanket. The irony being, of course, that that’s mostly what he is to her – but it isn’t my problem anymore. I just wish he’d let me run away 2 1/2 weeks ago like I tried to – then I might not have been stupid enough to think that I could be happy. Perhaps when I find the right person, I won’t feel second best, ever so slightly worthless. Perhaps when its the right person, I won’t have that over riding fear that its all about to end – and then it might not :O)

I was going to come and have a rant here – but I read 40s board first, and one of my friends has just lost her father-in-law. Sort of puts it all into perspective and ties in with my entry earlier in the week.

Anyways, I finally booked the week away in Devon. Off to Ilfracombe, just after my birthday, so thats something to look forward to. And now I’m back on the emotional trauma diet, I might even drop a dress size <sniggers half heartedly>.

Too tired to write much more – was funny tho, text joffy last night, said, ‘don’t want to talk about it’. Next thing, phone rings.. ‘What part of ‘don’t want to talk about it’ didn’t you understand?’ I wailed. ‘What part of ‘thats what friends do’ don’t YOU understand?’ was his reply. I didn’t have an answer for that :O)

I’ll be fine tho :O) Its not like I’m not used to having my heart ripped out, shredded, puréed and spoon fed to baby crocodiles – there can’t be much left of it… lol..

Hmm.. Mother!!! About this Norwegian??

Tags: Holiday

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 29th, 2004 at 4:13 am and is filed under General, Relationships . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.